My Work and Influences –
Trauma-Informed Relational Somatics
Dear future training participants, if you’ve been considering working with me, you may be interested in learning about my influences as a practitioner and somatics practitioner.
Over the years I have integrated a number of concepts and modalities to inform the way I work. I have called my ‘methods’ Trauma-Informed Relational Somatics.
Taking a relational approach is the biggest aspect to the work. I believe that so much of our trauma stems from dysfunctional or harmful relationship dynamics, so it makes perfect sense that a responsive relationship can be incredibly restorative. I think if as therapists, we integrate this concept, only good things can come for our clients. Our job is to give them an embodied experience of being listened and responded to. It’s as simple as that.
How do we do this?
For me, the first step is to listen to their story. Their story expands far beyond their current experience of difficulty. When I meet a client I am looking to understand their multi-dimensional experience. I want to understand their mental health, their physical health and their relationships. I want to understand how their most difficult and most positive experiences have been shaped by these factors. I want to understand their patterns, what has been lost and what is desired. (The arc from loss to desire is the essential motion of grief, which underpins the lived experience of trauma). And then I’m going to respond and relate in a way that supports safety, resonance, increased awareness, movement, expression and integration.
Key Influences:
Hypnotherapy & Regression Therapy
One of my formative trainings was in hypnotherapy and regression therapy. When we learned to explore a client’s narrative, we were taught to look for emotions and core beliefs. Over time, as I entered the realm of somatic work and developed a deeper understanding of the nervous system, I expanded this concept to look for: external triggers, neural baseline, emotions, correlating thoughts, somatic signals, reactive patterns, threads of experience linking to root causes and overarching existential organizing principles. I believe that when we are looking to support integrated change, we need to identify and work with awareness of all these aspects. I think if we can identify and correctly correlate these with our clients, there is the opportunity for incredible transformation to occur swiftly and gracefully.
This is why I place a lot of emphasis on the initial talking component of a session. To understand the living and breathing experience of the client internally, and the way they experience the world, is essential. It will inform the intention of the work, the required relational dynamic and many of the techniques that will be called upon during the therapeutic process.
Something else I integrated from hypnotherapy is the power of the spoken word, suggestion and invitation. When we are born, we are pretty much completely suggestive. We adapt and respond to the people and environment around us. As we get older and our personality forms, we become less and less malleable and adaptive. Underneath it all, our pure subconscious is ready to accept suggestion and invitation. It’s ready to learn, respond, change and to heal. So working with suggestion and invitation has become one of the hallmarks of my work. It’s a bit like a gentle nudge to the subconscious, saying ‘hey you can do this… you have permission.’
Permission is another big part of it. Rather than overtly expressed, this is implied within the safety and resonance of the relational dynamic. Many clients have never had permission to feel, to express to change. Giving the unspoken gift of total permission to be as and how they need to be in any moment is an incredible healing ointment to the oppressed self.
From hypnotherapy I have also taken the concept of parts therapy and adapted it to what I call ‘somatic parts therapy’. When the psyche is fragmented (which is the case with unprocessed trauma), there is a requirement to access the suppressed parts of ourselves and reintegrate them into a cohesive whole. I have found that when various unexplained somatic sensations arise (especially when intermittent), they can often belong to a suppressed fragment, and that bringing attention to the somatic aspect of this fragment can provide a pathway to expression and integration, that is not always accessible from regular talk-based parts therapy.
In the training, there was a module on body therapy, where the teaching encourages the client to reenact the traumatic memory through the body step by step, and find some kind of completion. Initially, I was very taken aback by this processing technique. I think this was partly, because at the time, I still had a lot of unprocessed somatic content of my own and was scared of what would emerge. However, something felt very forced in the process to me. It felt unnatural and like there was no ‘truth’ in the movements; that they came from a cognitive directive, rather than a somatic impulse.
Somatic Philosophy, Movement & Energetics
The disconnect I felt exploring body memories through hypnotherapy led me to explore somatics in a lot more detail, and also to engage in a private mentorship as a Qi Gong teacher as well as complete a yoga teacher training. Understanding the evolving and self-correcting principles of the soma is fundamental to the way I approached not only my own processing, but working with other clients’ bodies to allow them to engage in a process that is organic, felt, empowered and provided a framework for making sense of their experience. It is through these movement-based practices, that I came to my own embodied experiences of neuroception, interoception and proprioception. I finally understood my relationship to the world around me, and that I had the power to alter it with my own awareness, intention and expression. I feel that active orientation is really important in changing the neuroceptive pathways that create our integrated experience of life. While these learnings fill only a small paragraph here, it is important to acknowledge the powerful role they played in my own journey and the important piece they hold in my work with clients.
Craniosacral Therapy
Craniosacral Therapy is my core touch training. I engaged in studies at two very different ends of the spectrum. One was via the Upledger Institute which places a lot of focus on anatomy. The other was through private lessons with a Biodynamic teacher. My greatest learning from this modality, is that time, space and resonance can bring about incredible alchemy and undeniable truths from both the body and the psyche… It is through this quiet cranial space that so much of our unconscious will emerge in a way that is both safe and empowered…. Because there is no force in it, only permission (and there is that beautiful word again – permission). From my teacher, I also learned the concept of somatic resonance and dissonance. Though these words were not part of his framework, witnessing the care he took not to disrupt another person’s energetic field and wait for complete safety and resonance before approaching the body was a turning point in my learning. I was also able to work on his incredibly sensitive body, to learn first-hand, how anything less than complete resonance, can be received as not only disruptive, but threatening and harmful.
One of my client’s once told me that receiving craniosacral was the closest thing to pure love that she has ever felt. This stuck with me so deeply and I often mention it to others, because wow… the power of feeling such somatic support and responsiveness really cannot be matched. For many who have experienced the worst kinds of trauma, there is a void inside, a place where love was either not received or received in the most harmful and foul ways. This can be re-patterned (to a degree) with safe responsive touch. When I connect to a traumatized body, and it becomes safe enough for them to receive, it can often feel like their system is gratefully drinking up the support, trying to fill that deep loveless void. It’s as if there can never be enough of it. I’ve had that feeling lying on the table myself… I know it well.
Through working with many bodies over time, and becoming incredibly confident with my approach to touch, I learned which holds have certain effects on the nervous system, which segments of the body tend to hold different types of emotions and memories, and how to gently navigate the somatic narrative, which has a very clear language and expression. I moved away from pure craniosacral therapy and started to engage in what I will call ‘trauma-informed touch’. It involves a range of touch techniques from gentle cranial-like holds, to more active touch, responsive touch and even some gentle fascial release work. I think it’s really about learning a new somatic language and responding with appropriate touch.
Somatic language is an interesting one to learn, because we all have different processing pathways for it. For example, some students find the client’s somatic story mirrored in their own soma, some feel certain signals at the solar plexus, or directional loops through the body. Others see images, colours or symbols or connect to words/phrases that they learn to make sense of and some just have a knowing and need to learn to trust it. As a teacher, one of my greatest wishes is to help practitioners connect into their own processing pathways for somatic language, because I feel that this is vital in order to engage in true responsiveness (which is the point of the work). As for me, I have explored all these processing pathways at length through my journey into this work. When I started I would vision or see and I would also feel the client’s suppressed emotions in my own body. Over time, I adapted my somatic processing skills and now I engage from a place of innate knowing… and a trust in my ability to do so with accuracy, yet a curiosity and humility that will always see me approaching the work from a place of inquiry, rather than from the perspective of someone who knows. In every session, I try to access the beginner mind. Who is this client? What is their experience? Does my sense of things match their sense of things? If not, why not? How can I relate to them to support an unfolding motion towards safety and integration of their fragmented self? This is all about somatic listening and responding.
Modern trauma psychology & neuroscience
The modern trauma paradigm considers some key concepts including: The polyvagal theory by Dr Stephen Porges, Attachment Theory by John Bowlby & Mary Ainsworth, and more recently work from industry leaders such as Dr Peter Levine, Dr Lawrence Heller and Dr Aline La Pierre.
I believe having a good handle on both the psychology and neuroscience of attachment is a requirement for any good trauma therapist. This allows us to understand the client’s ‘why’ and respond in a way that supports recovery, healing and transformation (using whatever modalities we have). It also allows us to psycho-educate and help the client make sense of their experience. The common experience of a traumatized human is ‘why am I like this?’ or ‘what’s wrong with me?’. Once they understand that there were factors outside their control that fed into their current experience, there is an instant release of some of the shame and confusion that has been clouding their being, which often provides a sense of hope and momentum that can catalyze their healing process.
While I have not trained with Levine nor Heller, I have read and studied their conceptual approaches.
From Somatic Experiencing, I strongly identify and integrate the concepts of pendulation, titration and containment. I think I work with a larger experiential arc that invites greater levels of activation. With this work comes big warnings about re-traumatization, which I completely believe in. However, I also feel confident that my interpretation of a trauma-informed approach provides a safety-net for the client’s experience; and so far have nothing to show me otherwise. I think before engaging with my work, it’s good to understand that perhaps I do push the envelope of what may be considered ‘right’ in the modern trauma paradigm. So many people walk into the clinic just waiting to fall apart. I suppose I feel safe enough with my skills, that they know without a doubt that they will be held as they express their deeply internalized and non-linear self. My intention is that they feel safe as they process and integrate their most difficult traumatic content.
(Here, I would also like to note that I have engaged in some other trauma trainings that I felt were very extreme and re-traumatizing. I saw people flailing about and shaking and crying for days. I saw practitioners squeezing and pulling the body and encouraging activation and release through holotropic breath, and I saw the disregard for the memories and stories that were calling out for a safe space to be told. In comparison, my work is gentle as gentle can be… I suppose it is all about which perspective you approach it from).
From Heller, I take away the concept of building safe connection in the present, as well as the idea that we all have different connection styles, and that by understanding them, we can start to build new relational pathways. Heller takes a firm stance that the transformation lies in the present not the past. This is the opposite of how regression therapy works. As a therapist, I seek to access the raw emotions and organizing principles of the past and process them safely in the present. I feel this counters the possibility or re-traumatizing regression. In order to achieve this, I work with a lot of orientation to the body, to the table, to the room and to me. It is as if bringing awareness to the physical space and the very palpable relationship, creates an energetic anchor, keeping the client safe in their experience.
I was lucky enough to engage in La Pierre’s first international training in Norway. (Though Covid disrupted module 2). Because it comprises both talk and touch, I took to her methods immediately. The use of her ‘nurture surrounds’ concept (blankets and heated pillows to increase feelings of safety) is also something I resonate with. I believe that utilizing the environment to optimize safety makes our job as therapists easier and also invites the client to recreate similar positive experiences via self-care. (In fact, this is the premise upon which I designed our beautiful Soma Clinic in Singapore. I wanted the space to be a therapy in itself, providing an immediate feeling of sanctuary and respite). Studying Neuro-Affective touch, I witnessed first-hand, how safe relationship is a crucible for the emergence of unprocessed trauma. Where my work differs (I think), is the inclusion of hypnotic language as well as the cranial approach. I also place a very big emphasis on integration after catharsis which I believe is essential for translation into transformation outside the treatment room.
My personal Journey with trauma
Trauma-Informed Relational Somatics is the culmination, not only of all my profession learning, but of my own journey living with trauma, recovering from it (I’m still in process) and making sense of myself, my relationships and the way I relate in the world.
I often tell those who inquire, that the reason I have such a connection to this work, is because I am the most traumatized person in the world. Or I was.
My own experience of trauma includes: physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, sexual abuse and medical trauma (including misdiagnosis, medication loading, invasive treatments and medical gaslighting).
Through and beyond these, I suffered what I call ‘loss of self’, which comprises of severe disassociation, and psychological and physiological adaptations in order to survive. For most of my life I felt disconnected, alone, misunderstood and confused. However, I became an expert at masking my fragmented self. When I look back to the most difficult times, part of me wishes I had access to a therapist like me. I think just to have someone understand the depth and breadth of my trauma and the very existential shift it caused in my experience of the world. There were plenty of therapists along the way who acted like little life rafts in a sea of trauma, and to those I am truly grateful. But there was no one who ever asked me about my childhood trauma, or if I had been physically or sexually harmed. No-one considered my story. No one laid a gentle hand on me and told me I was safe, even if just in the present moment. They focused on my mess of physical and mental health symptoms. Or they gave me drugs to quiet the symptoms (and my incessant cries for help). To be fair, one psychologist helped me process some of my anger towards my parents through talking but nothing really changed. (Like me, many clients who engage in somatic trauma processing have done a whole lot of talking, but the felt experience hasn’t changed).
Because I was very physically ill, physical recovery was my first port of call.
In order to do that, I needed to somatize.
Coming home to my body was the first step that kicked off a huge transformation process. However, when I somatized, it was not in a trauma-informed way. There was no pendulation, titration, containment or resource. There was a plunge into the black icky hell of my trauma. It was terrifying to all at once feel what I had spent a life disassociating from. I spent 4 intensive months feeling my emotions, regressing to traumatic memories and writhing around in my bed or on the floor. All alone. Crying. Breathing. Moving. Journalling. It was an intuitive process. And something told me to follow it, even though I was terrified and my body was breaking out into symptoms including fever, cough, diarrhea, skin rashes, heart palpitations and pain.
Some of the key emotions I processed during this time include: shame, guilt, grief, anger, fear, worthlessness, disgust. It was a gross and non-directed process. I suppose it was just time and it needed to happen.
I am very invested in ensuring the somatization process can occur with gentleness and ease for my clients. These same emotions that I processed, seem to be the core emotions that arise through the arc of therapy. Emotional processing and integration is also a large component of the work as it has formed and clarified.
After this intensive period, my physical symptoms disappeared and I started to connect to the world in a different way. I started to feel happier, more alive and more connected to the world around me. And I started to learn modalities that could help me understand my experience and distill it into a method that could help others. I knew that was what I was meant to do. (I am still sure of that).
As I continued to learn and work with clients, I have also continued my own process of trauma recovery, focusing on the way I engage in relationships. I was fascinated engaging the works of both Freud and Jung and began to process deeply on the importance of relationships in my life, both past and present. I think when we have experienced trauma, learning to engage with authenticity and vulnerability is one of the hardest things, because we have been fragmenting and shutting up in order to keep the peace, or armoring up in order to fight our way though (or both). I have worked quite deeply on challenging my own relational organizing principles, learning to move from co-dependency to independence, shattering projections and owning my more difficult aspects, establishing boundaries and re-patterning my fawn response, speaking my truth, and identifying and following my impulses. I think in order to do this, many layers of fear and hyper-vigilance needed to be processed. (I am still in process!). Lastly, I have spent a lot of time connecting to beauty, pleasure, joy and self-love; which could only come after processing and integrating shame and guilt. All these are elements of ‘re-parenting’ which is another concept that feeds into my work.
Trauma-Informed Relational Somatics derives from all of this. Not just my journey of learning, but my journey towards becoming human again. And that is my wish for my clients – to feel supported to be messy and human. To find and integrate their lost fragments and move as one cohesive self.
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