PRAISE

Coen Tan

Participant,

Human Intelligence
Leadership Program

I spent the last 3 days completing the final module (#4) of my trauma-informed human leadership journey under the graceful and wise guidance of my teacher Natalia Rachel.

As I look back, here's how I have grown as a human being:

1) Nervous System Regulation
↳ I am better able to manage my own nervous system.
↳ Previously, I would often be easily triggered into a heightened state, or I'd become paralysed when I'm emotionally overwhelmed.
↳ Now, I'm better able to regulate myself, engage my "neutral witness" mode, and come back to centre when I'm triggered.

2) Becoming a Safer Human Being
↳ As a facilitator, I've always think of myself as being able to provide psychologically safe space for people.
↳ However, I've discovered that I've been prone to my own hidden prejudices, projections and preferences, and that violate the safety of people around me.
↳ By becoming more aware of these, I can better meet people where they are, without the urge to want to persuade, coerce, or rescue them.

3) Watching my “Rescuer Complex”

↳ Owing to my childhood experiences, I've often found myself gravitating unconsciously to "rescuer roles" in my relationship.
↳ As a speaker, facilitator, mentor and coach, people look to me as the "strongest person in the room" so it's easy to slip into this role.
↳ Realising that it's not my job to heal everyone, I free myself to be more authentic in how I show up, while honouring and inviting the agency in others.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗝𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗻𝘂𝗲𝘀...

I am still H-I-P - Healing-in-progress:

↳ I continue to integrate the part of me that constantly feel the need to fight to prove myself valuable and worthy of love and respect.
↳ Competition causes me to constantly compare myself with others in a win-lose dynamic
↳ It's tiring, and takes me away from showing up authentically and offering my best gifts to the world
↳ This also makes me unconsciously persecute people for their lack of competency and judge others for their lack of “hunger” and “fire.”
↳ I seek to integrate the fighting spirit as a valuable tool in my life, but not let it consume me.

Thank you Natalia Rachel once again for being my beacon and pillar. I have important work to bring this work to the world in my own way - especially for men.