Cocoon of Compassion
As we slide towards the end of the year, it’s important we create a cocoon of compassion and care for all that the holidays and the transition to the new year bring.
The holidays can be filled with trauma triggers as well as an inherent pressure to turn over a new leaf, set goals, and roar into the new year in full force. These things combined, can place an often unnamable veil over the moments of joy, connection, peace, inspiration, and hope that are also available at this time. For the traumatized self, this may evoke a somewhat desolate ‘Why?’. ‘Why can’t I enjoy myself?’. ‘Why do I feel so lonely, even when there are people all around me?’. If we don’t learn to catch our
trauma ‘speaking’ and contorting our view in the present, it can be easy to slip into despair and hopelessness or lose ourselves in a non-sensical anxiety loop.
Here’s five ways we can create a cocoon of compassion and care as we move through this charged time:
1) Name and normalize
The moment we bring our experiences into consciousness, they have less power over us. The moment we welcome them into our compassionate care, they no longer become a source of shame or exclusion.
>>> Take some time to acknowledge why the holidays may feel hard and note your potential triggers. You may even find that this process softens them, or even allows you to de-activate them.
2) Make space for grief
When we make space to grieve what has been lost and what we lack, we begin not only to let the pain go, but we move through the spectrum of grief. Rather than stagnate and remain stuck, we transform loss into desire. It is here that we are at our most creative.
>>> Take some time to be with your grief. You may like to engage in a ritual of honoring each thing you are grieving and setting intention of what you want to create in your life.
3) Open your heart to receive
Vulnerability can be terrifying, but it is the path toward the connection that we all crave. When we let others know of our grief, and our desire, we open ourselves up to receiving connection, care, and love.
>>> Choose 1 or 2 safe people to communicate your feelings about the holidays to. Share what it is you are missing, and also what it is you are craving. They may not be able to soothe your grief or give you what you crave, but their ability to sit and listen with compassion will be a soothing resource regardless.
4) March to your own rhythm
The pressure of making the next year better, shiner, and more successful can be a block to our healing process and non-linear path of growth. When we choose to tune in to our own bodies, minds, and spirits, rather than the date on the calendar or the slew of social media posts telling us to ‘Go, go, go!’ we take back our power, meet ourselves where we are and can move forward more sustainably.
>>> Ask yourself: ‘What would best support me in the coming months as I continue my own unique and non-linear journey?’ Hatch plans from this compassionate and authentic point of departure.
5) Lead with love
We can contribute to a kinder world through every breath, every word, and every moment of compassion for another. Knowing this time is full of triggers, trauma, and loneliness for so many, we can choose to be more compassionate, forgiving, and gentle with those around us. This doesn’t mean putting ourselves last, rather it means giving others the same loving kindness that we ourselves wish for.
>>> When met with others’ triggers distress or moments of discord, find a pause. Rather than be quick to judge or condemn, dig into your empathetic heart and speak in ways that command respect, but also offer compassion.
On a personal note, the holidays are often a tricky time for me, particularly navigating them as an expat single mother. I will absolutely be taking my own advice. In fact, this year my vulnerability has led me and my children to be invited to spend Christmas with wonderful loving friends. While I will be making space for my grief, I will also be taking time to connect to all the things that I am grateful for… my breath, my health, my children, my friends, and for you…your time and curiosity as you continue to connect with my words and work.
Happy holidays to you and yours! - Natalia Rachel