How Do I Find the Right Therapist for Me?

How do I find the right therapist for me?

Connection

Your ability to feel safe and authentic with your therapist is the single most important thing that will ignite your healing process! If you feel welcome, not judged, relaxed and calm, this is a good sign! If you feel suspicious, protective and unable to relax, this could indicate that a) they are not the right therapist for you b) that your trauma responses are on alert. Take time to inquire and vdiscern what's true for you. You can even ask your therapist. A great therapist will be happy to talk about your feelings about the connection!

Background/Experience/Specialty

Choosing a therapist that has a background or interest in the types of things you are going through is really important. Every therapist excels in one area and connects better to people going through certain things. Check our their bio or drop them an email and ask what their areas of specialty/interest are. Does it resonate with what you are going through? If not, ask if they can recommend someone who works closely with the things you need support with (e.g. childhood trauma, anxiety, body image, relationship issues, grief).

Modalities

There are so many approaches to therapy and understanding the way you want to process with a therapist is important to finding the right fit. Take time to research the different kinds of therapy so you know what you'd like to try. You can also ask the therapist about their modalities and why they choose to work with them. You will learn a lot through the answer!

Lived Experience

Some of the best therapists have lived through a lot in their lives. While most therapists will keep their personal history to themselves, some are open in what brought them into this line of work. It's ok to ask them what inspired them to work in their field. They will tell you as much as feels right for them. You may get an insight into their ability to understand your experiences.

Feel it out!

It can take time to build a safe connection (especially if it is very foreign to you to be vulnerable and share you deeper experiences). There's nothing wrong with trying a few sessions to see how it goes. You can also be honest with your therapist about your hesitations/concerns. A great therapist will welcome these conversations and it will often deepen the connection. You can also try working with a few different therapists until you find the right one, that you simply click with. This is normal. All human connections are unique and the best ones start with a spark of resonance and develop over time.

We all need different forms of support at different junctures in our lives. You can use these concepts as a guide to continue asking 'who is the most supportive guide for me at this time?'