Dear Doctor - I got better!
The below is a real letter that I wrote to my old neurologist to let him know that I recovered from my complex condition, and have some insights on my process as a patient-turned therapist.
Dear Professor,
It has been 4 years since I have sat in your office. I'm hoping that you remember who I am. I was in and out of your rooms for the best part of a decade. All kinds of neurological symptoms - pain, weakness, numbness, tingling, migraines. I was on multiple medications and intravenous treatments.
I'm writing to let you know that I got better. In fact, I recovered 100%. I feel compelled to share a little with you, in the hope that it brings about some thoughts and conversations around your other patients who may be experiencing similar symptoms, with no real response to medical treatment.
In 2016 I moved to Singapore with my family, and my recovery started shortly afterward. 4 years later, I am healthy, strong, and working in the field of complex health as a Clinic Director and trauma therapist. I specialize in those who have complex conditions, where there is a history of trauma. It's as if I have been given a second chance at life and am incredibly grateful. I also feel humbled to now helping other people that are living in similar states of pain and overwhelm to how I used to.
There were a number of elements that played into my recovery. Here are the main ones:
1) The unprocessed trauma from my earlier life needed to be processed. I experienced physical and emotional harm regularly as a child. I had also been sexually abused as a young adult. Processing these experiences with methods that derive from somatic psychotherapy led to a swift recovery, no more pain, no more numbness, and capacity for the body to start strengthening.
2) Down-regulating complementary therapies you may remember, my nervous system was literally on fire - inflammation everywhere. Engaging in therapies such as craniosacral therapy, reflexology, and gentle massage helped my body start to feel safe and calm, which reduced the threat signals and inflammation. I engaged in these weekly for a number of months. Gentle touch from a safe human went a long way towards helping my nervous system learn that the world is a safe place. (Because of past trauma, I believe that my nervous system was unable to sense safety... it needed to be shown what it felt like).
3) Exercise. Over the last 4 years, I have been engaging in a range of exercise, depending on what my body could manage. It started with simply floating in the pool and gentle yoga. Today I am doing weights training, boxing, and dancing to build strength, flexibility, and agility. These activities have increased both my proprioception and neuroception. No more tripping over, bumping into walls and tables, or slamming doors in my face!
4) Gut Health. When I arrived in Singapore I went on an elimination diet, completed a cleanse, and healed my leaky gut. I also did a couple of fasts to reset the immune system and invested in taking digestive enzymes to build my guts capacity for digestion.
5) Medication detox against all advice, I stopped returning to Sydney for intravenous treatment and I weaned myself off all my medications. At the time I was swallowing down 42 tablets per day that had been prescribed to me over the years. I started this process with the support of my neurologist here Dr. Choo, who indicated that some of the meds were irrelevant. Detoxing was horrible and withdrawal sent my body into overwhelm, but I am certain that it was a requirement for me to start to process my emotions/past experiences AND for the body to have a chance to equalize.
6) Rest & Support. In Singapore, I was afforded space and time to rest. I also was lucky enough to have assistance in the home from a foreign domestic worker. My kids were looked after, the house was clean, the shopping was done and I could just focus on resting and getting well. I did this for four months. Without this support, I believe I would not have had the capacity to be well and thriving as I am now.
The above 6 things were the keys to recovering from what I was told was an incurable and degenerative condition.
I would like to share a little here about our clinic and my work here in Singapore. Should you be interested you can see the websites below.
https://somaclinic.sg/
https://www.nataliarachel.com/
I would also like to point you to our 'Signs of trauma checklist' that helps medical and mental health practitioners assess for possible signs of trauma.
https://somaclinic.sg/checklist-possible-signs-of-trauma-soma-clinic/
Now I don't know where this email leads... Right now I am focused on building awareness about the origins of trauma and finding pathways to create systemic change, whether it be helping patients to make sense of their experience and feel safer, or whether it is creating training programs to support medical and administrative teams to understand and better respond to the very complex experience of the patient.
If you feel inspired by the above, I would love to speak to you or someone from your team and start a conversation - how can we help the patients? Recovery is possible, I am proof of that.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Warmly,
Natalia